As the pigeon flies...

As i sit and reflect on my life, a pigeon sits on the threshold of my balcony.

Life is a funny game. I say funny, not daring, not difficult but funny. And at times, a little sadistic too.

A year back I could never have known the point in life where I am standing now. A year back, I was at an engineering college, with two surprisingly much crazier roommates than me, and never thought of life so intensely. My life at that point rotated about home, hostel, UPES, friends and room 306 D –block. But then life changed, situations arose and here I am at Bangalore, in a college much far away, pursuing a degree much more different than solving laplace transformation and quantum mechanics.

All the philosophers say that life is unpredictable and live it as it comes. They say that to let go and move on is a part of life. Well, that’s easier said than done. I always thought of myself as very practical and organized. So much so, that I despised people who cried and hugged their friends in the last day of school. I used to think that such things are a part of life. People come and go, not a big deal. But then I was a kid back then.

I was a loner back in school. I had a lot of friends in school, but I was lonely inside. I did not have a friend with whom I could be open and frank. But then in college, I met such friends. Friends, who were much different than what I had hoped for. No two friends of mine were similar. But they were friends for life. These friends brought out the best and worst in me. They made me a better human being, they made me mature. These were people who I could swear by for life and never regret any moment of it.

It’s true that moving on and meeting new people is the practical thing to do. But for once in my life, I want to go back to those familiar faces. I want to go back and share a few more moments with those past faces. For the first time, I let my emotions take control. Over the past few months I have met a lot of people, made a lot of new friends. But nowhere did I find such friends that I hoped for. For that I blame myself because every time I tried to make a good friend I would compare and find out some inadvertent flaw that I could not overlook.

And now, I think back each day, to those times well spent. To those moments of absolute joy and cherish those memories because they are not coming back.

And as I sit and stop contemplating my past and decide to finally let go, the pigeon perched on my balcony flies away.